Happiness. Bliss. Joy. Oh the attempts at describing emotions...

Sometimes words are just too hard to find. That is the greatest thing about emotion, true emotion, is that you can’t describe it. There are no words that will ever truly quantify the unique feeling that you are feeling, and that only you can ever feel in that moment. The annoying thing is that it is often emotion that makes you want to find words. Like when you listen to a song that lifts you up and fills your body with that strange buzz. The buzz that feels as if your actual soul is being awoken from the deep sleep it drifts into when the monotony of everyday life takes hold of you.

This buzz is what made me write this blog today. I just purchased ‘All I want’ by Kodaline and the beauty of that song, of his voice, reverberates through me and it creates this idea of awe spring to life within me. I am at awe of him, the band, the song, the tone of the music that is licking at my eardrum and at the same time this awe is much greater than that one song. I’m in awe with the world. My breath becomes heavy, my heart slows to a dull, rhythmic thud, and a ghost of a smile plays at my lips as I close my eyes and sway. It is too personal for a full-fledged smile to twist up the corners of my mouth, it is a sweeter feeling, a deeper feeling, and yes, I literally sway. Not in the lame, cliché way but in that way of feeling the music, as it pulses through you and connects to the energy cascading through you amidst the atoms that build you. It is an instinctual sway. An un-ignorable sway.

And it isn’t as if the song is even a happy one. It is about loving somebody who leaves you heart broken, and how the only thing you want is to be back with that somebody. “When you said your last goodbye, I died a little bit inside.” That lyric makes my own heart break, yet I am still in this state of soulful buzz. Because the song is so beautiful, for whatever unknown reason it connects with me on multiple levels, and it fills me with that raw, true emotion that cannot be described. As you can see from my attempt at describing it.

Now thanks for reading, watch the video and see if you feel the same emotion I did… while I go lie on top of my bed and enjoy some more music in the dramatic way I have just portrayed…


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtf7hC17IBM

Come and bring a sledge hammer down on my world

The monotonous struggle of life feels is almost suffocating. There is nothing but routine, habit and cleanliness in the secure future. Where we have the stable job, pleasure in the simple things and we let our dreams pass us by. One minute we are stepping out into the world with a head full of ideas and the next we are too old to even think about changing any of the patterns that spiral around us in a suffocating blur.

For the life of me I cannot think why anybody would want to conform to the way of society. Getting a job that ties you down, having a family that leeches your life away from you and commitments. I just want to walk out my door, bag with the basics in hand, and escape. Run away, into the wilderness. Jumping from place to place. Never settled. Meeting new people and tackling new obstacles every day. I find routine painful. The moment everything is stable I feel a crippling boredom and an intense restlessness. What is worse, the oppression that comes from these feelings makes me want to just crawl into my bed and hide until it passes. My motivation is sapped away.

I want to do something that breaks the monotony. Anything. And I want to do it right now.