Therapeutic Exercise - I dare you to try it ;)

Recently I decided to give myself a personal evaluation. I often feel that people try so hard to hide what they truly are and I know that I often look down upon my negative qualities. I’m really keen to get to that point in my life where I can look in the mirror and know exactly what makes me, me and to be okay with it. So, I believe this starts with pointing out all of my faults and also my strengths. Being truly honest with myself and not having any kind of opinion on it – I.e. this isn’t self-depreciation, its self-awareness, and its all positive.

So let’s get down to it, as with all people, I have many, many faults, so to name a few…

• ·      I’m judgemental
• ·      I’m kind of shallow
• ·      I’m a hopeless romantic
• ·      I’m a fearful person
• ·      I lack self confidence in many social situations
• ·      I am very competitive with myself
• ·      I think way too much and have a wandering mind, I also change my mind all of the time
• ·      I want to be a strong, independent woman, but I know deep down that I really want a man that will take care of me and protect me
• ·      I hate clinginess and can’t be around the same person for too long, yet I want my man to be devoted to me – so I know I am going to be a pain in the arse to date!
• ·      I regret things, and cringe at my past self – way too much.
• ·      I find it very difficult to be myself around people – to show people every aspect of my personality
• ·      I hold grudges, I can’t help it, but if you do something to piss me off, unless you go out of your way to apologise then I won’t forgive you
• ·      I can’t apologise, even when I know I am in the wrong
• ·      I hate sharing things if I really love that thing, i.e. my pets or my prized possessions
• ·      I get jealous easily
• ·      I judge myself against other people all the time, and I never come out on the positive side in my minds eye
• ·      I’m sarcastic and can be quite moody at times
• ·      I obsess over things that I like, including men, and can get a bit lost in my own head because of this
• ·      I have trust issues and often think people don’t like me, even when they do
• ·      I always think people forget about me instantly after they meet me
• ·      I hate it when people who don’t know me, think that they do
• ·      I get pissed off very easily
• ·      I hate it when people make me look stupid – I can laugh at myself when I am the one making the joke, but if it is someone else pointing the finger I do struggle
• ·      I am very opinionated

And now to the things that I consider to be my personality strengths

• ·      I’m a hopeless romantic, and will never settle for anything – I want my life to be like the stories you see in films and books, and I believe its possible – call me naïve, but I would much rather be this way than settle for anything less
• ·      I’m a very open person and although judgemental to a point, I won’t act on judgements until I am certain I am right, and will admit if I am wrong
• ·      I am shallow to the point where I really do love good looking people, however what I find good looking is so varied and also people that are passionate and talented will always top the list… also I do understand that for a real relationship (romantic or otherwise), it is the personality of a person that matters, not their looks or initial impressions, but to get to that stage they must make my heart flutter…
• ·      I am very opinionated – which I think is what fuels my passions and drive to be the best that I can be
• ·      I think way too much and despise ignorance – I want to know everything and anything, and I actually enjoy overthinking. This only becomes a fault when it leads to personal criticism or making myself overly nervous or not do something I should do due to fear
• ·      I want to be better than what I am now – my biggest fault, in my opinion, is being fearful and I really want to not be fearful and although it may not always happen, I do try my hardest to break this fault when and where I can.
• ·      I believe in my convictions and my passions. I know not all my opinions are right, and I know I can come across as arrogant or like a know-it-all, but if you don’t believe in what you say, then why say it? And I almost always make it clear that I know not everyone will agree with me, and that’s okay – unless you aren’t hurting someone with your own opinion then I don’t care if it is different to mine.
• ·      I am very passionate about human and animal rights – well, what I should say is, I am very passionate about EQUALITY TO ALL!!!
• ·      I’m not a straightforward person, and although this may seem like a fault, I actually like this about myself. It means that if I know somebody understands me, we must be truly close.
• ·      I am very un-confrontational, and would never want my actions to hurt somebody else, but I will defend myself, my family and friends and anything I care about if you dare to attack it without reason. 

Okay, I’m going to stop here. I really urge anybody that has read this to sit down and think about your own faults and strengths. I believe the faults section is most important, if you are truly honest with yourself. It’s very therapeutic writing this all out and laying yourself on the line. It is our faults that make us who we are, as well as our positive qualities. I’m sure I haven’t written a complete list of either section right here, but I feel this is a good start. I feel like I am one step closer to truly accepting myself, and once that has happened I am sure the ‘self love’ everybody raves about, will come soon after.

Being A Vegetarian That Loves Meat...

 Ever since childhood I have loved animals. I have respected animals, trusted animals and most of all, I have never seen them as anything different than ‘us’ humans. As the terrifyingly traumatizing but beautiful 2005 documentary, “Earthlings” by Shaun Monson states so clearly – we are all the same, we are all Earthlings. I’m not sure where my original belief of this or knowledge of this, however you want to look at it, came from… I do think it may have stemmed from my love of Disney. I never watched the Princess Disney films – watched most of them since I was sixteen years plus – but I found any of the films from the animal POV just riveting. The Lion King is still my ultimate favorite film, partly because of nostalgia but also because it is a beautiful film with incredible score music by the wonderful Hans Zimmer.

Anyway, for whatever reason, I have always seen myself as an animal and animals as people. No matter what animal you are, we have the same feelings and none of us are simply biological machines. We all make mistakes, we all do things for pure pleasure and we all feel pain. As a student of science I now view these things slightly different. I can see that there is a scale on ‘intelligent’ capability (but don’t get me wrong, I don’t see humans at the top of this scale), however I also am a firm believer of the concept that intelligence is relevant to the life you lead, thus we are all equal in our own ways. I also understand that some animals have more of an emotional capacity, again humans are not the top here either, and some animals do not have the time to allow for energy waste on pleasure or mistakes. Humans believe that work and jobs and society is a human creation, but when you see a lion pride working in union to take down their prey, you are seeing a family doing their job and each member is working as part of a team, as part of their complex society. We just call society with animals ‘hierarchy’.

I also know that the more I learn, the less I actually know – the old cliché that is undeniably true. On the surface it seems that we know everything there is about animal emotions, animal sentience and animal lives, when really we are discovering new and profound things on a day-to-day basis. Dolphins take drugs, elephants can tell the difference between elephant bones and other animals bones (and grieve accordingly), and dogs can read our thoughts better than most other humans, and we can recognize the meaning behind their barks. Animal science and behavioral science and neurology are all fascinating, and if you look at things with an open mind you will never cease to be amazed and enlightened. If somebody tells you something you don’t know, or don’t think can be possible, don’t be negative and dismiss it – look it up yourself and be prepared to be surprised, and find joy in that surprise.

So, back to the topic I originally planned to write about when I started this entry… vegetarianism, the dreaded topic…

At the age of eighteen, when I first started buying meat for myself as I was a fresh faced university student, I realized I had no more excuses I could give for satisfying my desire to taste meat. I have always loved the taste of meat, bacon sandwiches, roast chicken, pork chops etc but I could no longer qualify why it is okay to kill these animals on mass when I can quite happily survive without it. The idea of snacking on meat was starting to make me feel queasy, the cost of meat from animals that had lived in decent environments with little stress was too high, and it just seemed that the idea of taking an animals life for a few moments of pleasure was just as bad as going out and hunting for sport. Meat isn’t a necessity for life, but not having meat is a necessity for a farm animal’s survival.

Now don’t take me the wrong way, I don’t believe that eating meat is wrong. We are omnivores at the end of the day, having meat in our diet (although not a necessity) is something we have evolved to enjoy, but the way that we farm animals and treat these living breathing creatures as objects to satisfy our greed is wrong. Meat should be a luxury. It should be understood that to eat the meat on your plate you had to take the life of another being. Meat should be respected. Animals are not bags of flesh for us to just pick off one by one, they feel pain, stress, grief and they feel joy.

I’m not going to get into all the environmental benefits here right now, as people just seem to ignore all the things they could do to limit the impact of global warming and environmental death anyway so there is no point. I just want people to think more about what they are eating and to understand why vegetarians can be so forthright in their opinions. Although, from my experience, the only time a vegetarian tends to state their beliefs is when they are asked or when something has upset them. Just like with any other belief in the entire human social system. Also, it can be very difficult to see the hypocrisy that many meat eaters live by – you know, having a pet dog and being like ‘it would be horrendous if somebody killed my dog to have a snack,’ but being like, ‘oh but its cool to kill a pig for some bacon’.

Oh and my biggest pet peeve is when somebody says, ‘I would love to be a vegetarian but I just can’t do it, I love meat to much’, or something of the like. I used to devour bacon sandwiches. Roast chicken was my savior. Meat was a daily part of my life, and god it was hard to give up. And even now I will sometimes lapse, or have thoughts about eating meat as it tastes so good – but the reasons not to do it are just too strong, and I am still chubby and eat so much great food without meat in it, you can’t go on that whole ‘vegetarians are unhealthy and skinny and sickly’ thing either. I have only changed for the better as I eat more veg – which is healthy, as we all know…

The only reason people aren’t vegetarians is because they don’t want to be a vegetarian. And that is fine, if that is what you want to do. But realize that vegetarians are doing something that many find quite difficult, and doing it for reasons they feel very strongly about. Vegetarians are fighting for animal rights and animal life – meat eaters are not, and have no real leg to stand on. So just don’t get involved, if you don’t like vegetarians for whatever reason just don’t speak to them. Don’t say hateful things and don’t pick fights.

Anyway, I am going to finish here. Everything I have said in the above is purely my opinion, and if you don’t agree then that is fine. I just wanted to put my point across. Also not all vegetarians are like me, just like all factors in life, we are all individuals so please don’t stereotype. I’m an animal rights activist but disagree with the way PETA do things. I’m more of a Martin Luther King Jr follower than a Malcolm X-er. Fighting for rights with peace not war. I’m sure many vegetarians are dicks, but the ones I have come across are just trying to do a good thing so please lay off and let us get on with it. I give you permission to have ago at somebody who rams their beliefs down your throat, vegetarian or otherwise, but just remember – who started the discussion. If it was you asking, “so why are you a vegetarian?” remember that you started it!

Okay… I’m stopping now…  

Approximately 9000+ Staffordshire Bull Terriers are killed every year... but why?

One of the problems that you face when working with animals is the knowledge that you gain and the distance it puts between yourself and those that do not work with animals. Anybody that has spent time around an animal understands that they are anything but emotionless, or thoughtless, or that they lack a consciousness. The ignorance and general unwillingness to bend on false truths that people believe they know, without any experience or first hand knowledge themselves can make your life away from the animals very difficult. And the biggest problem of it all is when lives are put at risk, because of this lack of knowledge.

The Staffordshire Bull Terrier is a dog that has an incredibly negative reputation amongst the British public. This dog is believed to be uncontrollably aggressive, especially towards other animals, and cannot be trusted. No civilized, high society person, would dream of owning such a menacing breed – or at least that seems to be the general opinion. However, the people who believe this will never have spent any time around a Staffordshire Bull Terrier. The closest they will have come to a Staff is probably at the end of the lead of somebody who looks unrespectable, even dangerous, or at the very least a hoodlum. They will probably be blind to the Staffs running about the parks playing with other dogs, or being walked by kind, gentle people that are not youths or uncouth individuals. Or at least that is how I feel it must be, because nobody can spend time with a Staffordshire Bull Terrier and not find themselves smiling as the little, happy, dog smiles back at them, tail wagging and large warm eyes twinkling.

Nobody who has spent any real time with a Staffordshire Bull Terrier, even those with intense issues with other dogs, can understand that the why the breed is portrayed so harshly by the media. Anybody who tells you that Staffordshire Bull Terriers are naturally aggressive dogs and are a danger to be around, especially for children, have never looked into the beautiful, soulful gaze of a Staff. They have never spent any time around one. They have never given one a cuddle or even a little pat on the head. They haven’t researched or read around the breed, they don’t know their breed standard and how the Kennel Club itself states that Staffordshire Bull Terriers are not only “highly intelligent and affectionate especially with children,” but also, “totally reliable.”

As with all dogs, the animals raised in horrendous, steroid induced, hateful conditions where they are pitted against other animals to fight for their lives or face the sharp stab of a cattle prod, will become products of their environment. All breeds have the potential to be aggressive. All breeds have the potential to be abused, or the potential to feel they must protect their owners – for many dogs are truly loyal and would throw their lives on the line for their family. All breeds have the potential to snap when a child pulls at their ears, pokes them in the face, tugs on their tails. The media will only tell you about those dogs that do snap. They will not tell you about the hundreds that sit happily with a child draped across their back, hugging them so tightly they can barely breath, but just soaking in the attention they so love to receive.

The most human aggressive dogs that I know are not Staffordshire Bull Terriers. I have never known a people aggressive Staff, I am not saying they do not exist but out of the many, many dogs I have worked with, I have not yet met one that is people aggressive. The dogs that I do know that are people aggressive are primarily terriers such as Jack Russells, Westies and many other little breeds that people wouldn’t dream of considering viscious. And that isn’t to say those that do show signs of aggression are viscious! A dog will only bite you if it has a reason to bite you. Dogs do not lash out for the sake of it. They either feel incredibly threatened, and this threshold of what is threatening varies between dog to dog, or they have a medical condition.

As an example, my last dog bite came from a long haired, handsome little Jack Russell Terrier. He bit me because I went to stroke him when he was curled up in his bed, which was idiotic of me as I knew this dog and I knew that he had trust issues with people due to years of abuse when he was young. The moment after he bit me, because I was invading his safe space, he panicked and didn’t know what to do with himself. He didn’t want to hurt me, he just felt threatened and in his mind, the only option he had was to give me a bite, a warning bite at that. I was fine, more concerned about him – it was my mistake, I had threatened his safety, albeit unwittingly. This dog often sits in my lap and enjoys soft, gentle, reassuring affectionate strokes but only when he comes up to me. Only when he jumps into my lap or comes to my hands, will I tentatively stroke him, because it is his uncertainty and distrust of people that makes him lash out. And what amazes me, is that although he suffered abuse at the hands of people – he still seeks the comfort of human touch! He wants to be around people, he wants to trust you, he wants to feel your love, but he struggles because of what people have done to him.

Like I have said before, and like I will most likely say again, all dogs have the potential to lash out. No dogs will lash out because of their breed. It all comes down to the individual dog, the individual incident, the way they were raised, the home they live in, the way that the person being bitten has treated them, or the mental/physical health. People see themselves on such a higher level than animals, but when you truly look at it, we are very much the same. All beings are the product of their environment. Yes, some may have a higher tolerance for invasions of privacy, or even abuse, and some may be more affectionate and seek out comfort more than others, but nobody is born evil. All animals are fresh, blank canvasses, at birth. I just wish people remembered this, both when dealing with animals and when dealing with other people. And also, nobody is perfect, we all make mistakes.