Friday, 9 November 2012

Forever Alone - insert meme here...


We all make those jokes, about being alone forever – that’s where that meme came from ‘forever alone’… those people making those jokes about being spinsters for life. Collecting cats to die alone with. Cobwebs crowding the bat cave. We’ve all done it when single. But what if it is true… that some people are destined to be alone forever? I mean, it isn’t unheard of – else Spinsters wouldn’t exist. What is it that makes someone become a Spinster? Looks, personality, charisma? Or is it something bigger than that. Are some people just unlucky? Is fate not on their side? Does the Almighty want them to be alone? Is there something wrong with them inside that members of the opposite sex can sense subconsciously?

I’ve read all those websites, articles, magazines, advice columns – everything that is out there that states ‘how to attract a member of the opposite sex’ or ‘how to get a man’ or ‘how to stop being single and alone’ etc. and I have done all the things they suggest. To an extent. I won’t change who I am as a person – my beliefs and what not, because then the man I get wouldn’t be the right man… surely!? I can do no more than what I do now. It isn’t my fault that I am single. It must be genetics or fate because no man ever finds me attractive.

Now some might think this is because I am unconfident and negative but these are my inner thoughts that I will only discuss with friends. I don’t have a sticker on my forehead stating ‘THINKS SHE’S AN UGLY, FATSO WHO WILL BE FOREVER ALONE – DON’T BOTHER WITH THIS ONE LADS”. It was only a month ago whilst searching for a duck missing a beak with my colleague from the wildlife hospital that I was told that I ‘am obviously a confident person’. She was actually shocked when I said, oh no – I’m really not. I’m terrified of new situations, uncomfortable around strange men, can’t find my voice to ring people – but all this stuff is deep down. It puts me off certain situations but I people can’t see these insecurities. At least, not to my knowledge – and not from what other people have told me.

I’m a strong, independent woman with big dreams and a determination to succeed. I’m motivated, hard working and push myself to my limits. Or at least I try my very hardest. If you met me, you wouldn’t guess that what I crave – what I need – is the comfort and security of a man. Somebody to love who loves me back. Love. Isn’t that what life is all about? Love equates to long-term happiness. Items can give an instant smile, friends can warm your heart, family can make you feel safe, money can give you security – but love gives you a life. Without it, you are merely surviving.

I don’t want to survive any more. I want to live. I want to grab his hand and experience what this world has to offer. I want the guts and the courage to leap into new situations, take risks and share it all with my man. I want to turn a casual walk in the fields into a passionate adventure, I want to roll around in the hay and I definitely want to rock his world.

But what else can I do? The only men I find attractive are the unattainable. Is it because I want the challenge, or is it because I am a self-sabotager who deep down wants to be unhappy and alone? Or maybe it is because all men are unavailable, considering none of them show me any interest… it’s either the work of a God/The Fates – or biologically there is something wrong. Or maybe it is karma. Maybe in a past life I did something terrible. Something that deserves this present self to feel the crushing despair that is loneliness.

You cannot know what loneliness is like unless you have felt it and once you have felt it you will never want to feel it again. I normally like to leave these things on a high note, or at least I try – but there is no high note for me to find right now. So I’m going to say my farewells and continue to listen to Coldplay.

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